Learning to let go in therapy

Each time a new client comes into my practice, a new relationship begins. It is not a friendship and it is not a casual connection. It is something very real and very temporary at the same time, and it is built on attachment and attunement. It requires emotional work from me as a therapist, and because I am an empathetic and sensitive person, I feel each relationship in my body.

If you ever wonder whether your relationship with your therapist is real or not, I can tell you that it is very real. What makes it professional is that it is real only within the frame of therapy. I show up fully for you for that hour. I bring my insight, my empathy, my life experience, and my professional experience. And then I close that chapter when the screen turns off or when I wave goodbye.

One of the hardest parts of the job has been learning not only how to “turn it off” after each session but also how not to carry the emotional weight from one person to the next. I hear many stories. I listen deeply. I dive in. And early in my career I carried too much for too long.

What has helped me the most — and what I want to share especially with new therapists — is the importance of peer support and supervision. This work can be lonely and isolating, especially if you are in private practice or not part of a collective. Even therapists who work in teams can feel alone with the emotional load.

My advice is to actively seek out peers in the mental health field. Find people you can show up with honestly. Find colleagues you can talk to about lingering emotions or difficult sessions. Support each other. This is one of the best investments of time and energy you can make.

Because of the isolating nature of the work, these peers might not appear on their own. You may need to be brave and reach out first. But it will support you in becoming a better therapist and a more grounded human being. It will make your work more sustainable and your life more meaningful.

This is just one reflection on the theme of endings and letting go. I will be back with more. Cheers.